Becoming Intentional In Your Relationship
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Dedicate time to your relationship. If you want to improve your golf game or your leadership skills, you invest time and often money. Improving your relationship also requires investment. Life is full of distractions. Spending time with your partner easily gets crowded out. Dedicated time for your partner often requires planning ahead and making time, not just waiting to find time for the two of you. Choose to be inconvenienced by your partner.
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Focus on what you want your relationship to be like.
We tend to focus our thoughts and energy on what we don’t like in life. While we do need to be honest with ourselves about the struggles we face, stopping there is a recipe for stagnation. Flip your focus. What do you want to experience more of with your partner? Then get specific. For example, if you want more passion, ask yourself what more passion might give you? Maybe it will give you confidence that your partner enjoys you and wants you around. -
Share your desires not your complaints. Once you have a specific desire for the relationship share it with your partner and leave out any complaints or accusations. If you want more romance, sharing might sound like this: I’d like to feel closer with you, like you want my mind and my heart in addition to my body. Will you help me feel more confident that you like all of me?