Criticism is Really a Cry For Connection

When My Partner Protests Does it feel like your partner brings a full court press when you make a mistake? When they get upset, does it feel like they are pushing you away and telling you what a bad partner you are? If so, this article is for you. This time we will...

When My Partner Pulls Away

What Does it Mean When My Partner Pulls Away? Does your partner regularly turn away, make a joke, minimize your concern, or shut down when you reach for them? In the last article we mentioned these behaviors are typically driven by overwhelm and fear of failing. This...

I don’t think that means what you think it means

Today’s tip is inspired by a line from the Princess Bride movie where Inigo tells Vizinni “I don’t think that word means what you think it means” after Vizinni repeatedly states something is inconceivable and then it happens.  Kim and Dennis often see a similar...

Catching the Cycle

A strategy for noticing you’re in the cycle & starting to defeat it. One of the first things that will help improve the effectiveness of EFT therapy is to focus on catching yourself in your cycle with your partner. It is much easier to catch your partner in the...

Exiting Your Conflict Cycle

Noticing, Admitting, and Naming to Exit Your Conflict Cycle If you have a partner, then you have a basic pattern in moments of tension. Not every fight fits your basic pattern – yet most do. Over 70% of couples world-wide share a similar pattern. It goes like...

Finding the Right Things to Reach for in Your Relationship

Are you frustrated that no matter how much you try to get connection, appreciation, or acceptance from your partner, it just gets further out of reach? You might be reaching for the wrong thing! Reaching for stand-in needs instead of true attachment needs Many people...