Blog - Hold Me Tight® Seattle

Catching the Cycle

If improving your relationship is on your list this year, the most powerful first step may be learning to recognize the pattern that takes over during conflict. Date-nights or other forms of intentional time together are great. However, when time together quickly leads to conflict, we need more than intentional time.

The problem is not the topic of the conflict, but the pattern or cycle.

Resolve To Be Intentional Pursuing your Partner

“People who are lonely… are less happy, their health declines earlier in mid-life, their brain functioning declines sooner, and they live shorter lives,” says Harvard researcher Robert Waldinger, based on an 85-year study.

Close, healthy relationships take intentionality- when your relationship is left to drift, it always floats towards disconnection.

Surviving Holiday Stress with your Partner

For many, the holidays are a season of joy. For others they are a time of difficulty or grief. For all they are a time of stress. Here is an approach for reducing holiday stress in your relationship. Anticipate Holiday Pressure Points For many the holiday season means...

Exiting Your Conflict Cycle

If you have a partner, then you have a basic pattern in moments of tension. Not every fight fits your basic pattern – yet most do. Over 70% of couples world-wide share a similar pattern. It goes something like this:

Finding the Right Things to Reach for in Your Relationship

Are you frustrated that no matter how much you try to get connection, appreciation, or acceptance from your partner, it just gets further out of reach?
You might be reaching for stand-in needs instead of your adult attachment needs.

Getting Out of Your Conflict Déjà Vu Loop

Have you found yourself in an endless loop of “déjà vu” moments – the same basic conflict on repeat? Whether it’s about chores, money, date night, or another topic, you get stuck in the same basic pattern of pursue and withdraw. This pattern is normal for romantic partners.