I don’t think that means what you think it means
Have you ever looked at something your partner did and thought, “I know exactly why you did that”?
Maybe they walked away, got defensive, forgot something important, or seemed uninterested—and you quickly decided what their behavior meant: They don’t care. They’re trying to control me. I’m not important to them.
But what if you’re wrong?
Catching the Cycle
If improving your relationship is on your list this year, the most powerful first step may be learning to recognize the pattern that takes over during conflict. Date-nights or other forms of intentional time together are great. However, when time together quickly leads to conflict, we need more than intentional time.
The problem is not the topic of the conflict, but the pattern or cycle.
Resolve To Be Intentional Pursuing your Partner
“People who are lonely… are less happy, their health declines earlier in mid-life, their brain functioning declines sooner, and they live shorter lives,” says Harvard researcher Robert Waldinger, based on an 85-year study.
Close, healthy relationships take intentionality- when your relationship is left to drift, it always floats towards disconnection.
Surviving Holiday Stress with your Partner
For many, the holidays are a season of joy. For others they are a time of difficulty or grief. For all they are a time of stress. Here is an approach for reducing holiday stress in your relationship. Anticipate Holiday Pressure Points For many the holiday season means...
Exiting Your Conflict Cycle
If you have a partner, then you have a basic pattern in moments of tension. Not every fight fits your basic pattern – yet most do. Over 70% of couples world-wide share a similar pattern. It goes something like this:
Finding the Right Things to Reach for in Your Relationship
Are you frustrated that no matter how much you try to get connection, appreciation, or acceptance from your partner, it just gets further out of reach?
You might be reaching for stand-in needs instead of your adult attachment needs.
Getting Out of Your Conflict Déjà Vu Loop
Have you found yourself in an endless loop of “déjà vu” moments – the same basic conflict on repeat? Whether it’s about chores, money, date night, or another topic, you get stuck in the same basic pattern of pursue and withdraw. This pattern is normal for romantic partners.
What are the 7 Hold Me Tight® Conversations For A Lifetime of Love
Powerful bonding moments come when you and your flaws are truly known by your partner, and you still experience your partner’s acceptance.