mature asian couple walking on beach talking about raw spots and hold me tight Seattle, EFT

What is ‘Primal Panic’?

When your primary attachment bond is threatened, you are wired to have an intense reaction. Sue Johnson calls this response primal panic. She coined the term in her book, Hold Me Tight®. It refers to your wired-in need for a safe other person, and the intense predictable response you have when something might put your primary bond at risk. This panic drives your destructive cycle or demon dialogue.

At these times about half the population shows minimal distress. If that’s you, you may not even be consciously aware of your concern of losing your partner, or ‘primal panic’.

The other half of the population displays intense feelings in these moments. If this sounds like you, you are likely aware of how much you feel. At times you’re likely overwhelmed by how much you feel. However, you may not be aware of the deeper ‘primal panic’.

You don’t need to fight primal panic and its cycle alone. You can reach out for help and create the antidote together – secure connection and acceptance.

Is there an antidote to these worries?

The antidote to primal panic is the secure bond you can grow with Hold Me Tight® and EFT. You can re-wire your brain by walking into and through the parts of yourself you keep hidden to avoid risking losing your partner.

  • The climax of the EFT process starts by tuning into your primal panic.
  • Next tell your partner your worry about the relationship.
  • Lastly you ask for reassurance, the antidote, to your relationship panic.

By going through the emotion, you discover ways to confirm that your partner will still be there for you even when you share the darkest parts of yourself.

Read Love Sense and “A General Theory of Love for more on the science behind the process.

How can we work together?

The journey to finding the antidote for primal panic starts when you admit you’re stuck. You accept that you can’t get out on your own. Then you reach out for help.

Emotionally Focused Therapy and Hold Me Tight offers the roadmap for the journey. At Infinity Family Therapy we guide you along the map toward a secure bond with your partner.

We offer three ways for you to start: